How's this sound? It's still a bit rough.
Lucy glanced in her rear-view mirror. It was still there. She pressed down harder on the gas pedal, but she couldn't get away from the dark, dirty thing that chased her down the road.
She sank lower in her seat as the roar echoed behind her. Why had she gone down that dirt road alone in the dark? She almost hadn't made it back... but damnit, there was no way she was going to let those jerks treat her like such a... such a girl.
She looked in the mirror again and gasped in shock as the grey-blue specter rushed up behind her car, reaching for her, stealing her air.
Lucy kicked herself. How could she have been stupid enough to drive over that big stone and broken the muffler?